I'm Sad With A Heavy Heart

I'm sad to report that my father, who is in his mid ninety's, fell last Thursday and broke his hip. Immediately, I felt shameful for all the "fallen and I can't get up" jokes I have told in the past. I was called by a member of my fathers church who informed me that a passerby saw my father laying in the yard and called 911. I'm sad that a man that has remained so active and positive all his life has to endure this and as we all know a broken hip is often a point of no return health wise. I'm sad that his children live far away. I'm sad for as he says's "you live long enough all your friends and relatives are gone". I'm sad I don't have a better support group to help me out in times like this. I'm sad as the result of the selfish thoughts I had when I was first told:thinking I had just spent a week with my father on vacation which is more than my relatives would do. I'm sad that I feel hatred for my brother and his family that say their European vacation was already planned and they will leave tomorrow. I'm sad that I feel anger towards my nieces, who both moved into new homes recently, for more or less asking my father for house warming gifts of $2000 for washer/dryers yet have expressed little concern for his well being. So as you can sense, I'm a sad fucker.
Tomorrow, I will venture north again to the hills of home to check on my father as he moves from the hospital to a rehabilitation center. I'll see about his home and find someone to do the yard work. I'll bring his long legged dog back here to fight with my girls for now.(This should be a real nightmare since he is used to a huge yard and my back yard is 75 by 30 feet.) I predict no grass by Labor Day. I'll let my friends get my mail and take care of my girls while I'm gone.(I hate to have to ask but...) So I'm having a pity party and will not be posting the usual smut for a while. I hope you have a good week.